Leap Day

Long-time readers of this blog should know that I mostly only post on Leap Day because long-time readers of this blog are me.

When I reread my last Leap Day post, I was surprised to find that actual measurable amounts of effort appeared to go into it. I can't say I totally followed what I was getting at, but there sure were a bunch of sentences saying some stuff.

Four years have gone by since then and I can say definitively that I've become a better writer. I now use a lot more exclamation points and since most of my writing takes the form of articles for an internal newsletter at work, I rarely have the chance to write anything that might be considered interesting. That's good! By sticking to empty platitudes and cliches, I get no furrowed brows and very few critiques. People are happy to let my writing wash over them like a lukewarm shower in a motel. It's serviceable if you absolutely have to clean yourself up or, if it's the last day of your work-mandated conference and the networking events are over, you can just ignore it completely and wait for the familiar water pressure at home. What I'm saying is, no one reads what I write unless they absolutely have to or are actively avoiding being productive (I can verify this. Statistics from mass email services are great for providing a window into how many people just don't give a fuuuuuck).

Writing with personality in my own voice even in a short burst like this reminds me why I don't do it anymore. It's hard! And this has to be posted before midnight! And I hate editing!

This is me pressing publish and hoping I don't find any typos four years from now.

We are the world

Some people point out that Americans cover and discuss European tragedies much more extensively than those that take place in other countries. The rest of the world suffers heartbreak too, they say.

And they're right. Today, Rob Ford died and I'm sure Canadians everywhere are mourning his passing. Or celebrating. I don't know their customs.

Leap Day

I have to tell you, there's a tremendous amount of pressure on me right now.  I've posted on every single February 29th we've had since 2008.  That's an eight year commitment to writing down some words on a particular day and I've met that commitment a full three times.

It's true that my previous Leap Day posts have not demonstrated any sort of literary talent or journalistic integrity on my part.  Both posts, as I examine them now, appear to have been rushed to publication in order to meet my obligation.  I'd like to apologize now for their poor quality.

With that in mind, let's take a look back to see where I went wrong...

Friday, February 29, 2008

I posted a link to an article in The Washington Post about leap day.  I went on to note that due to a quirk in the way my blog was set up, it looked like I'd published on February 28th.

Nothing about this piece excites me.  I'm quite frankly bored by what it has to offer.  There's no joy.  No verbal swag.  It's cement poured into a square on the calendar I figured needed to be filled in.  I didn't even bother to put a footprint down to make it my own.

Don't get me wrong.  I applaud this post's yeoman-like effort to stand stoutly and unwavering in place for eight years without complaint in order to memorialize one of the latest days in February ever recorded.  It's not its fault that I crafted it poorly and without thought to how it would be viewed all these years later.  Unfortunately, time has not been kind to its content.  I suspect that if I remember to look back on it again in 2020, it may actually have crumbled into dust.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I recounted a conversation I had with a friend and told the tale of how it jogged my memory to write something on KC in HD.  Then I noted that $5 footlongs from Subway would no longer be a thing in 2016.

This piece holds up significantly better than my previous attempt.  I managed to work in a brief narrative and introduced another character into the equation.  It's not easy to juggle so many personalities in a work this succinct, but I did it admirably.

Perhaps most impressively, I correctly predicted the fall of the Five Dollar Footlong.  Earlier this month, the sudden collapse of this great American icon prompted headlines across the country.  It's difficult not to look back at my post today without thinking of the author as a wise seer boldly proclaiming what's in store for a lesser noble, that, yes, people have heard of, but are also embarrassed to say they know.

And yet, while brevity is the soul of wit, I must admit that I let myself down in 2012.  Again my post failed to prompt any sort of discussion.  No one took note of it and I can't say that I blame them.  Racism and sexism are still alive and well in America today and my writing did nothing to quell their incessant, raging fires. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Should someone have stepped in to offer assistance?  Yes, probably.  My friends never stepped up to share the burden and important figures like Bill Gates, Ta-Nehisi Coates, and Donald Trump didn't pick up the phone to set me on the right path.  But in the end, I must shoulder all of the blame.  I should have been better. You deserve better.

But not this year because I've already written this.

Leap Day

It was a day like any other until...

Emily: oh

hey

it's leap day

right?

yep

sure is

the internet says so

Me: yep

i will mark the occasion by doing nothing special whatsoever

...and then I remembered! I have a blog. And on that blog, I have certain traditions. One of them is almost never posting anything. Another is posting on Leap Day.

Hi. Remember, today is the last day you can get any footlong for $5. I highly doubt this deal will be available to you in another four years.

BREAKING: Lincoln Defeats South... Beach

DeShawn: 11 points. LeBron: 8 points.

Dododo, dododo.

Am I the only person who looks at the Large Hadron Collider and thinks, "This is SportsCenter"?

Angela Lansbury don't give a fuck cause it's her birthday

Tomorrow (October 16th) Angela Lansbury turns 85. For her birthday, I'd like to honor the lady who starred in one of the few hit shows that incorporated punctuation in the title without stooping to use a clichéd colon or exclamation point.

With that in mind, I present you with Murder She Wrote In Da Club, an amusing (if not altogether convincing) mashup of 50 Cent and the Murder, She Wrote theme song that I've been waiting to repost until the time was right.

Listen Here

The artistic genius behind the song can be found here.

...And here's a picture from what was no doubt an epic crossover episode of Murder, She Wrote.

Now that's hot... he wrote.

Sorry.